Karena Tuhan Tahu

Banyak orang bilang, a adalah orang yang sangat beruntung...
Tuhan ngasih a berkat yang luar biasa berlimpah.

Lahir di keluarga yang memiliki materi yang cukup, orang tua yang baik dan mendukung, dibesarkan dalam cinta dan bungkusan lembut kasih sayang yang memampukan a untuk tumbuh dalam senyuman.
Ditambah kesempatan luas untuk mengembangkan diri, fisik yang sehat dan tahan banting, semangat yang tinggi untuk maju, kecerdasan yang cukup bisa diandalkan, kemampuan adaptasi dan bersosialisasi ke semua lapisan dan golongan...
dan seterusnya..
Terlalu banyak, a bahkan ga sanggup untuk menghitung semua berkat luar biasa itu.
Terlalu banyak, lebih daripada apa yang mampu a sadari
Lebih daripada apa yang sanggup a harapkan.

Banyak orang bilang, a adalah orang yang sangat beruntung...
Dan a juga bilang, ya... a adalah orang yang sangat beruntung!
Tuhan ngasih a karunia hidup lebih daripada apa yang sanggup a minta.

Dan ada suara-suara mulai bertanya, kenapa harus a yang demikian beruntung?
Kenapa harus a yang berada di posisi ini?

Kenapa bukan mereka?
Dan a sendiripun mempertanyakan,
"Tuhan, kenapa a? Kenapa a yang Kau berikan berkat yang luar biasa tak terkira ini?"
"A ini siapa, Gusti? A bukan malaikat... bukan orang suci. Kenapa a yang Kau berkati dengan karunia dan kesempatan seluar biasa ini?"

Hari ini, jawaban itu muncul di depan mata a :)
Kenapa Tuhan ngasih a berkat yang luar biasa tidak terkira ini?
Kenapa a?
...
Karena Tuhan tahu, di tangan a, berkat ini akan terus mengalir untuk orang lain.
Karena Tuhan tahu, di tangan a, berkat ini ga akan berhenti hanya untuk a nikmati seorang diri
Karena Tuhan tahu, di tangan a, berkat ini akan berlipat ganda untuk dibagikan kepada orang lain yang membutuhkan.
Karena Tuhan tahu, di tangan a, berkat ini ga akan menjadi percuma.

Karena Tuhan tahu, a akan berjuang sekuat tenaga untuk itu
Karena Tuhan tahu, perjuangan itu ga akan pernah berhenti :)

A beruntung, a diberkati...
Karena Tuhan tahu, orang lain akan juga ikut menikmati peruntungan dan berkat itu
Karena Tuhan tahu, dengan penuh kerendahan hati, a rela berjalan di jalan salib-Nya dan menjadi bagian karya keselamatan-Nya.

Tuhan memberikan berkat-Nya sebagai bagian karya agung-Nya
Tidak ada yang percuma, tidak ada yang akan tersia-sia.

Dan kalau kamu pun merasa beruntung, merasa diberkati...
Itu karena Tuhan tahu, berkat-Nya juga akan terus mengalir untuk orang lain di sekitarmu.
Maka... jangan berhenti :)

Am I Too Naive?

Am I too naive, that after all, I'm prefer helping other rather than making money?

Years ago, I said to myself that my purpose in life is serving others, helping others.

And I also said, I believed, God will make a way for me.... that I didn't need to worry about income, because as long as I used my life for others, He himself would make a way for me for living.

HE already granted my wish...

But I refused it.

Because about two years ago, I said to myself.... I wanted to fight for my own life. I wanted to fight with my own talent and my hard work for living. I wanted still helping others, but still making money from my work. Let's said that I could help other on my spare time, in the middle of my real job. I could making money, yet still helping others.

But tonight, one thought hit me, straight to my head and heart. It's said that... after all, I'm still prefer helping other rather than making money. I want to use my talent and my work to serve others... to help others.

My deepest desire still remains the same... rather than being successful and being well-known among others, rather than making money for living, I want to devoted my time for others.

I want to be there for people who need my talent. I want to use my talent and my work to help others in need, without they need to think about how much budget to pay me. I want to be there and ready for they call, without they have to think about budged wise.

Even it means I have to work for free, actually I don't really mind.

Am I too naive to say so?

It seems impossible now... But deep inside, I want to keep this little faith, that God will still make a way for me.

It seems impossible now... But I want to keep my faith, He will work on HIS own unbelievable way.

It seems impossible now... But I want to believe, He will take care of me as long I have a good purpose towards others, not myself.

He will make a way, when there's no way. Oh God, give me enough faith to believe it.

What is your definition of success?

I bet all of us have our own different answer for that.

The most common answers are:

"Success means I get a great and prestigious job and make a LOT of money"

or

"If I have the most beautiful/ handsome girl/boyfriend"

or

"If I have a big house with plenty of maids to help, a wife to take care of me, and children that I can be proud of"

or

"If I win in a big competition in the first place"

or

"If I become famous among others"

Then some people who can think more deeply might answer:

"I consider myself successful if If I can make my parents proud of me"

or

"Success for me is seeing my loved ones smile and happy"

...

But for me, all the answers above are NOT my definition of success :)

Definitely.

No no no.... it doesn't mean that I don't want all of above.

Frankly, I still desire it on my own.

But... it just not what I aim the most in life.

For me, what I can success is:

if somehow my presence in life becomes a blessing for others

if somehow my presence in life has made someone's life become easier :)

Like today, in the middle of my boring science class, I got a Boxcar notification that somebody mentioned my name in twitter. I checked it.

Emelly, one of my choir friend when I was still in Bogor, sent me a twit. She said, she planned to write a blog post about me because after all I was one of her biggest inspiration.

After I read that, I was like... WHAT???

I couldn't stop smiling, blushing, and flattered at the same time.

A simple sentence had definitely made my day.

Later at night, I read her post... and long story short, she wrote about her current feeling and how my experience back then reminded her to keep being thankful about what she's already got in life.

After I read that, I just didn't know how to express what I felt. A feeling of grateful and thankfulness rushed out from my heart and almost bursted me into tears.

And I bowed my head down and discreetly said a prayer... to God Himself...

And said "thank you"

This is such a priceless moment.

This little feeling definitely can't be traded with anything else....

Forget the glorious fame, put aside the glamorous joy that money and pride can bring.

Knowing that somehow my life has touched another life.... it's one of the miracle that God has created in life.

I'm no one... I'm just nobody... I never do something really big and good...

But yet, somehow the way I live has helped somebody to live better than before.

If it wasn't a miracle, I don't know what I should name it.

Having a lot of money? Having a prestigious job? Being famous and well-known among others?

There're totally NOTHING compare to this.

Thank you God...

For making me able to feel this way.

For me... this is what I call true success in life :)

And I know this can't be happened without Your interference in my life.

So thank you :)

Good News

Just heard a news... that I got a job offer for this summer again!!! :)

Can't stop smilling :D

Picture(sssssssss)

I supposed to do my Science project, but I ended up browsing around :p

My blogwalking today brought me to Michelle Koesnadi's photography blog. She's a fashion blogger who recently bought a new Canon 550D.

(I want that oneeeeee!!! It's not really expensive compared to another version of Canon camera, but it's already able to record in HD, I guess *hahaha, still I'm more a video person rather than photography person after all* Uhhh... But oh well, I better wait and save money for 7D anyway. #random)

Anyway, back to her photography blog. She said she fell in love with photography and she posted pictures she took there.

As the new photographer, she composed her pictures quite well.

Seeing her picture made me looked back to the pictures I took along these time but never get published. Hehehe...

I never feel that my pictures are good enough to be seen by others (since I'm always surrounded by a lot of professional and talented photographer)

But suddenly, I want to upload mine :)

So here they are, a couple of it.

Green lake at Spring

Looks like this bird was thinking to walk closer to me

Still around Greenlake

My cute fat cat, NyomNyom

Poker Token from my friend's house

Kau-Kau's Roasted Pork, the best one in Seattle!

Apple Magic Mouse!!! The sharp image on the bottom of the mouse makes it looks so sleek

I love how shallow the depth of field are,

until it could emphasize only one card from the whole box

The color and the natural bokeh effect on this one is my most favorite

I took it all recently with my Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II lens that my bf gave me on my birthday.

I love the bokeh (blur area) effect on most of the picture. With f/1.8, the depth of field of the pictures is extremely shallow, so the selective focus works really well :D

Also the pictures are really sharp.

Big thanks to my favorite little prime lens :)

Just One More Quarter Left

Today I was doing my Science lab report at library until around 10pm, while waiting for my bf finished with his portfolio class. After his class was done, he approached me to the library upstair then we walked hand by hand along the empty corridor to elevator and went back home.

It's our simple habit since about a year ago. Every time he has night class, I will do my homework or study at library so after we both finish, we can go back home together.

But when we did it tonight, I just simply realized. This is the last quarter for our habit, he will finish his school and graduate this quarter.

Next quarter, he will no longer here to have a night class.

Next quarter, he will not be able anymore to approach me at library at night and walk hand by hand along the corridor.

Yes, he might still be around if he gets a job here (or if he doesn't, he'll be back to Indonesia for good, but for this time I don't wanna think about this possibility yet. I do hope for the best).

But it will be a slightly different situation.

So surely, I will be missing our time together at school :)

Below are two pretend-to-be-cute pictures that I took with my laptop camera at Fall quarter last year XD I just simply really bored doing the whole assignment, so he sneaked out from the class and went upstair to cheer me up :)

Just one more quarter left for us, doing this kind of thing at school :)

If Life Is So Short

If life is so short...

I want to ask you, will you miss me when I'm not around anymore?

Will you think of me?

Will you cry for me?

I don't know, but I don't really care

If life is so short...

I want to tell you, how much I grateful to meet you in my life

If life is so short...

I want to express, how thankful I am for having a chance living my life right now

If life is so short...

I want say that I have no regret. I've been living my live at its fullest.

I've been doing my best in everything I do.

I've been honest with myself, my feeling, and my passion.

I've been sharing all things I have to people in need.

I've been fighting the best of me for other people's sake.

I've been trying to shine, as bright as I can, for others.

I'm always ready to go, everyday :)

But if life is so short...

Last thing I want to do is to tell you, dear... how much I love you

No need to say names, I know you know who you are.