500 Days of Summer... and You

I was spending my Saturday night, watching this movie again. And yes, somehow it brought me into a deep thinking and kinda guilty feeling...

Basically the film tells about a beautiful woman named Summer that doesn't believe that true love exists and a man that falls to her. Along the movie, they were getting closer... They spent their times together, holding hand, kissing, love making, and stuff. Though, she insisted on her words, they were only just friend. She didn't want to put a label on their relationship. And apparently it drove him crazy as time went by, but somehow, with her charm, she always could persuade him to understand.

Then long story short, at the end of the movie, she suddenly married with somebody else... leaving him alone with his feeling and memory about her.

Well, back then..., when I watched this film with my ex-bf, he said he liked this film. Why? Because it showed how bitch and cruel a woman can be.

And as I watched this movie again, I just couldn't help remembering it...

After all of these times, I think I ended up being perfectly Summer for him...

Playing around... Doing whatever I wanted... Using my charm to make him understand, because I knew he would do that for me...

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

And at the end, I just used simply excuse like her

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

While I guess... if he could, maybe he really wanted to tell me these

Tom: You know what sucks? That everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit. It sucks.

Hufffff.... as I watched those film again, the memories recalled and I felt really guilty last night.

I thought about how Summer I was before for him...

I thought why it didn't work and why I ended up acting like that.

Maybe again, this Summer's quote was right...

Summer: You were right... It's just me you weren't right about

Yah... maybe it just me he wasn't right about.

A year I put him on hold with excuses that I didn't want to commit in a relationship. I made him wait and wait, while I was busy playing around with other people as well. Whenever he was about to give up and move on, I used my charm to persuade him to stay. It's been a year before finally he tired completely and gave me the ultimatum that this time he definitely would move on.

That time I was confused, I still wasn't sure about being in a relationship with him yet, but I was too afraid to be left behind. So I said yes...

I thought I made a right decision, but apparently I only postponed the problem for a while and made it worser at the end...

Hufffff... whenever I think again how sembarangan I was and how much I hurt him back then, hurt me as well.

So you, dear....

I'm so sorry for being such a bitch before. I never meant to

And wherever you are now, I wish you tons of happiness, more than when you were with me...

You were always right, whatever you believed in... about commitment, compromise with each other, and so on

It just me you weren't right about...

Hope you'll find your "Autumn" soon, because you deserve the best...

Sorry I couldn't be that one.