You can count on me like 1 2 3, I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2, and you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do
(Count on Me - Bruno Mars)
For you...
Once we are friend, I'll sail the world to find you, I'll be your light when you're lost.
Whenever you ever need me, you always know I'm just a bbm or ym or twitter away...
Once you even just wrote twit with galau tone, I knew, something happened with you.. though you didn't mention me, I would ask... and wishing I could make you feel better...
You can always count on me, like 1 2, 3, and I'll be there...
You'll always have my shoulder, 24/7... just whenever you feel like needing a friend to stand beside you.
When the universe seemed conspired to bring you down, I'll be there to cheer you up again.
Anytime... in every circumstances...
Yeah, isn't it what friends supposed to do?
I always thought, I will always have those shoulder too for me...
Until last night, when I burdened up and didn't know how to explain, I just need you to be there...
Then I just told you, I was galau without any particular reason...
And I did count you like 4, 3, 2, and I thought you would be there...
I did count, but you didn't come...
and so I just cried alone.
Image are from here
Well....
Then I thought... was I wrong for expecting you would be there?
Or I was just too selfish for hoping so?
And got lost between those thought: by hoping you would be there, wasn't it meant that I expecting a return for what I did before?
wasn't it meant that I did the whole of thing before insincerely?
Then, I did feel like hating myself to the bone last night...
And so I just tried to let go...
I did pray...
God, grant me a sincere heart. That's all, Enough for me.
A sincere heart, for keep standing strong to cheer people up in the middle of people hard times, and to be forgotten afterwards
A sincere heart, for not expecting anything in return..., not even people for coming when I count 4, 3, 2...
Maybe God just thought that I'm stronger beyond my own expectation...
And maybe I really am because this pattern has been repeated in circle again and again since loooong way before....
People came in their hard times, and left me behind afterwards, when their happy times came...
Forgot everything, forgot who had been crying with them, when they already smiled...
It has been always the same story... Different person, different situation, but same old pattern.
If I thought of it, then I'm pretty much prepared...
But still, it's just... sad. For being left behind, once again.
But oh well, I just need to build myself stronger than before, when there're no one for me to count on... As simple as that.
And I still can count 4, 3, 2 to my own self though.... as what I always did along these times.
If God gives me this circumstances, then I bet HE knows that I could make the best of it...
And HE knows I'm strong enough to bear it of :')
And so, here... I'll close my babbling about this 'counting on each other' thing
I'll let it go and try to not question it anymore...
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
(Prayer of St. Francis)
And for you, my dear friend...
You know, you can always count on me...
I'll still sail through the world to find you. I'll still be your light when you're lost.
My shoulder are yours, anytime... to make you feel better, to cheer you up.
Because I just want to know that you are happy, to see you smile...
though then I'm forgotten afterwards, then let it be...
You can always count 3, 2, 1, and I'll be there no matter what... for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment