Another Cup of Black Coffee

I had my second cup of black coffee tonight :)

As I said, it wasn't my preference at all before.

Well, I was kinda surprised when I tasted it tonight anyway.

I was expecting a bitter taste that would numbed my tongue again, and I kinda prepared myself for that.

Well, it wasn't as strong as RedEye, I knew...

But yet, when the coffee touched my sense, surprisingly I found it was pretty nice to drink to.

I tasted the sweet of sugar inside, the plain of the pure coffee without milk or cream, and a slight bitter of it.

I did enjoy it :)

I almost couldn't believe that I couldn't drink it before.

Slowly I start to understand the beauty that lays behind a cup of coffee...

We have to take it first, before complaining about the bitterness

As time goes by, we will get used to it... and at those time, something good will appear to the surface.

Life is just the same :)

I experienced the bitterness that numb my feeling

But as I'm trying my best to move on, I will get used to it really soon and let it go.

And I know, happiness will be showing at those time :)

A Cup of Pure Coffee

I'm not quite a real coffee lover.

For me since yesterday, drinking coffee is always about for the sake of its caffein that would make me awake, or for socializing with others.

My favorite coffee for socializing, came from Starbucks and Coffee Bean: Caramel Frappucinno, Dark Cherry Mocha, or Black Forrest.

And if it was for the sake of those caffein, it would always about a coffee from small coffee stall at my campus: caramel macchiato or kahlua and cream. It never ceased to help me staying awake along school hours, after those long sleepless editing night.

Another favorite coffee of mine since high school, always be coffeemix :)

Believe it or not, I never drank a black and pure coffee before. I just couldn't. Didn't suit my taste at all..., I prefer something light and blended, or at least sweet and contain milk and cream inside.

But, somehow yesterday, when I was staying at one coffee shop here in Yogyakarta, doing the editing in the middle of #galauness (restless), I chose to have my first pure coffee. Red Eye Toraja, two shot of strong expresso.

Black... Dark...

and bitter.

At first, my sense seemed can't take it. I almost couldn't enjoy its taste.

I tried to put a sachet of sugar, but it didn't give any effect.

But somehow I kept drinking it until its last drop.

I didn't really know why.

It just felt like, I wanted to endure it.

Because after all..., behind its bitterness, something good laid down and waited to be discovered.

I just had to find it.

Wasn't life like that? :)

Thinking about my current condition and feeling, when I felt world was conspiring to make me down.

Thinking about my current restless mind that kinda drove me insane

The coffee was black and dark, ... as dark as my heart recently, when all the shine and positive energy seemed away, replaced by unsureness and jealousy. Literally, yet allegory.

The coffee was bitter... as bitter as these feeling that made my heart numb.

The sugar I put had no effect, as it represent, no matter I tried to make it sweeter, sometimes there was condition that wouldn't turn into as good as I'm hoping about.

But oh well, when I think of it again, life is so pathetic if you always get what you want

So I kept drinking it.

It didn't suit my usual taste, but I didn't mean that I couldn't take it.

Life is not always about doing something for the sake of something, nor for socializing only.

I needed to endure it and found what's good that waits to be discovered behind its bitterness.

It's life anyway, afterall.

And so I knew... I would move on

Soon after I finished those cup of coffee...

This post is dedicated for my best friend, Auliya Rahman aka Olly :)

I have no need to say words, but indeed a good friend is priceless :)

Today

Again, long hiatus time...

Have I told you that now I'm in Indonesia already? Specifically, at Yogyakarta... my second hometown :)

Currently, doing the TVC for Yogyakomtek 2010, the same one like what I did last year.

Well, since I'm now in the middle of post production time, I spend most of the time in front of my laptop and After Effect, in my room. Frankly say, I need some refreshment.

This morning, moved by spontaneity, I went to Kalikuning bridge with Olly and a bunch of his friends. They were planning to try the new flash, while me? just wondering around and hunting pictures :)

Since years ago, Kalikuning area were the place where I was used to. I used to stay over at my friend's place near there and took a walk around in the morning.

And today, when I took a walk again after about 2 years, the feeling was simply unexplainable :)

In the middle of fresh morning air, surrounded by the greenness. I suddenly felt free and peaceful.

Excited and couldn't stop smiling.

Surely it brought back the memories: same place, different situation, and of course different feeling.

It felt like ...

...

"I'm coming back home, but with full gear now"

Like, the "me" who walked around was no longer the same clueless girl as before.

The "me" that took the same route was no longer the so-called-innocent girl as before

It was no longer the dependent girl that always relied on under the protection of surrounding.

Sara that walked around this morning know what she wants to do in life and what she will fight for.

She knows what she's special about

and she also knows what she can be proud of, about herself.

And I began to realize...

This is my own light I've been searching for.

Maybe not as bright as what I was hoping about, but yes it shines now.

As I start to get my self-confidence and fight my best to enhance the talent I have

Slowly but sure, I know it will be brighter as day goes by... because I know I will never stops.

And I felt completely blessed

Thanks God for this feeling

Thanks for making me feel this way :)