#miracle

Watched MIB 3 last night, and one quote was striking right to me :)


"A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway."


Yeah, happens anyway...
Then I guess, you are my miracle :')


I love you already, my dear

Never Ever Been Easy

Yeah, it's never ever been easy for me
But somebody has to make decision and stand strong for it, because this cannot wait.


So here I am,
Still trying to smile and be grateful, though I'm unbearably scared inside
There's time I feel like I'm completely alone, but yet I know I'm not alone anymore


Be stronger, that's just what I have to do...
As before, as always

A Candle Light, For You...

Didn't feel really well since yesterday, but I went anyway today
Have a little trip with my Church's friends to Grotto in Portland, OR
(And yet have to shoot some footage for my documentary class as well though)

The Entrance

The Grotto

That was one of my favorite place to pray, here in states :)
And yes, managed to lighten up a candle with a prayer sent up above
I got teary eyes as I stood there... Just shown how special this wish are, this time.

It's for you, dear...
Be well...
I pray for Mother Mary taking care of you, so you'll be safe and sound within times
Until the time, when I see you


Hopefully this Christmas :')

When Rainbows End

The nightmare has turned real...

Cannot run, with it, i have to deal

Kertas hijau itu seperti malaikat maut bersembunyi di balik polosnya bulu domba
Seperti biasa, masih mencoba tersenyum
Masih mencoba bersyukur


Sepertinya DIA lagi-lagi tersenyum menggoda dan berkata,
"Setangguh apa sih kamu, Sara? Kucoba lagi ya?"


Silahkan Gusti...
Aku pasrah
Pada rencanaMu sajalah aku berserah 

Time Surely Flies

A year almost passes by
I still love you, more each passing day
It never ceases, even just a single ray

And yeah, just with you, forever I wanna stay

Looking at the Brighter Side

"Life is funny, isn't it? 

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out,

just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something,

and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in, the paths change,

the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and

east is west, and you’re lost. It is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction." 

-Cecelia Ahern (Where Rainbows End)

Hufff...

Yeah, suddenly the paths change, I guess...

Directing me to a truly-completely-unexpected path.

A nightmare has turned into reality now

But, looking at the brighter side, I know it could be worser.

So, I'll try to still be grateful and say "THANK YOU" again to Him

And the rest..., to be frank, still don't know what I should do

But I'll walk again, one step in time

Dan saya masih percaya, bahwa saya dijaga...

Selalu...

Negative...

Feel really lonely. Strange. Kinda empty inside. Hard to sleep. Yet so sleepy. Sorta tired mentally. Weird late period. Unproductive. Feeling distant with others. Unwanted. Left behind. 


Need a comfort hug, definitely not a simple 'basa basi' one


But, whatever...

Loneliness Kills, But....

"So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotion as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearning."  -Eat, Pray, Love

To be really honest, I have this kind of problem with loneliness.
Once before, that was the thing I was scared the most. 
I never could stand alone for too long...
With my own way, I always found somebody to lean on, a temporary pain killer for endure the lonely night and day.
I was weak with attention. If somebody showed it to me, then whoever it was, I would yearned for more.
Sometimes, thing that I craved the most was only having somebody to lay next to me, where I could sleep on their arms. Somebody who could offer me hug and warm embrace during the coldest night.


But as time goes by, I learned to live and make a peace agreement with the loneliness itself.
As I realized one day and found its true beauty, after a hurtful good-byes, I cheered it on over a glass of red wine at one little cafe on Melbourne's Alley. 
And started from there, I've been learning my way around it.


I guess it will always be a life-time process of learning... 
I'm just a human.
There always be a temptation for me to find another temporary place for me comforting myself during those lonely times.
Because loneliness still kills...


But this time, I'll just sit with it.
This cup of warm coffee is okay to help me bearing it.


I can endure it and I'm much stronger now
Having you, is just more than enough...