Once Again, I Proved It to Myself

And so... I'm done with spring quarter 2010 :D :D

To be honest, I got some hard times within these 3 months. Not about circumstances actually, but more about myself. There were a time, when my fighting spirit somehow was getting darkened for a moment and I spent days just as the way it is. I did the project without passion like what I used to be. I did all stuff I made only for the sake of turning it on the due time.

Good thing, it turns normal already. My passion and fighting spirit is coming back to me, and with it inside on me... I'm ready to face my upcoming project this July.

Anyway... this spring quarter, i was taking 4 classes. The most interesting and memorable one is Principal of 3D Modeling class. Actually, that's the basic class for animation/game art student, I took it because it was offered for film student as an elective class.

Since the beginning, I have an interest in 3D... My bf is an animation and game student, and he's really good in 3D modeling. I used to see he worked on 3D software and it looks fun and interesting.

Moreover, afterall... I'm a typical of people who loves to learn a new different stuff :)

So, at first I was really excited on that class... I put a LOT of effort to understand it, and I wanted to proof myself that I COULD make a good 3D, even I'm not an animation student. I wanted to show that although I'm a film student, I still wouldn't lose to the rest of the class.

I put a lot of hard works at the first couple week... I worked overnight for the assignment the teacher gave me and tried to go beyond what she asked to do.

Have to say, i was really proud of my first couple works.

week 1 assignment: Modeling a cellphone

week 2 assignment: modeling a dining room

with spoon, pork, knife, bowl, and plate detail

week 4 assignment: modeling plane

I know all above is look so "cupu" (I can't find a right word in English), but for the newbie in 3D modeling, I was really proud of myself that I could make stuff like that in the first couple weeks.

But in the middle of quarter, when I checked my mid-grade... I was really shock that I only got C- for that class. I really pissed off with her. At first, for me, her reason was kinda nonsense. How come I got such a low grade for the thing I worked beyond the average, although I missed a couple of detail on it. C'mon... I was still a beginner in 3D.

Couldn't she see that I put a lot of effort?

Couldn't she realize how I tried to go beyond what she asked?

Got really pissed off and for a week or two after that, i didn't want to put much effort anymore. I did the assignment exactly as what she said, I didn't experiment or think to make the project above the average anymore.

But at the week 8, she assigned us to make a boat, not with polygon but with NURBS (Maya software term). At first, i only wanted to model a simple little sailboat, so it would be really easy. But something inside of me kept telling me...

"are you sure you'll be satisfied only with the average thing?"

"are you sure that you'll be fine only with something that everybody can make easily"

"are you sure you don't want to prove at least for yourself, that you can do better?"

"are you sure that you don't want to show yourself, that although you are film student, you can beat those animation student if you work really hard"

I kept ignoring it for a while, telling myself that it was useless to put such a big effort for the teacher that couldn't appreciate it.

But at the end, I was like "arrgghhh... like I care, let's make the hardest one that I could find! Who cares if she doesn't appreciate it??? At least I KNOW that I CAN MAKE BEYOND AVERAGE"

So I browsed the boat picture and came with army boat.

Lot of detail and was really hard. But every time I thought to change it into something easier, my self-pride said "NO WAY!!!"

And I made it, I did the the best that I can... I put every detail as much as I can and turned it into her inbox.

I even didn't care about the grade. I was pretty satisfied that finally I made it done for my own sake.

The teacher didn't say anything about it too, we moved to final project. I decided to make a 3D interior of a boutique.

Lot of detail as always, and I took it as a challenge to myself.

A couple days ago, when I showed it to her, we had a little chat and for the first time she knew that I'm not an animation/game but film student. She was really surprised and said "What?? No way! Why? Why aren't you in animation??? You're really good on it"

and at that time... I smiled

And the smile was getting wider while I got her email this afternoon

It made my day definitely :)

I'm glad that I didn't give up at the first place. I'm glad that I still worked my best and I'm glad that I can show my best.

once again, i proved it to myself, that as long I give and fight my best, there's no star out of reach :)

"I see great things in your future!"

Thank you for believing me :D I will keep fighting to make it come true.... so one day, all of us can look back to this day and say "See? Told you so!"

Gonna fight hard for that :)